We recommend that if you want to test for paternity to find out whether or not you are the "biological" father, that you do so while the child is still a baby and before the child bonds with you as the "social" father.
It can be very stressful to a child and their identity if they undergo a DNA test after they have grown up enough to understand what is happening, both if the results are positive or negative.
If the child is already bonded to you and grown up, then please think through all the ramifications of a DNA test before making a decision whether or not to perform one. Please don't rush into that without considering all that is involved and potential ramifications.
We do not push people to do a DNA test just because it's good business. However, we may not turn down a case if it's clear that you would do a DNA test with a competitor if we did not do the test. For example, we have tried to provide the most considerate test for teenage and children, as well as for parents, in order to try to minimize psychological stress.
Many parents have gotten a discreet sample of their child's DNA (and/or the alleged father's DNA if it is the mother coming to us), such as hair with roots, fingernails, and other things (please call or email us to discuss this). In these cases, the child is not told of the DNA collection so that there is no psychological effect at that time. However, you should think through how this will affect yourself, and how to approach this.
You can feel free to call our expat Mark to discuss your situation, with no obligation whatsoever. We have dealt with many of these situations over the years, so our experience can help you. (By the way, Mark's father is a PhD psychologist with a long running family practice.)
Better Sooner than Later
If you are not sure whether or not you are the father, then it is better to find out sooner than later, while the child is a baby, and before it grows up. This is so that either:
If you have a problem paying the fee, then you can talk with us about a possible payment plan. If you're going to do a DNA test, then better to do it sooner than later.
Often, the man doesn't want to tell his wife or anybody else that he has his doubts, due to the stresses and discord it can cause, so we can coach you on how to take a discreet sample while the child is still a baby. We do not need a DNA sample from the mother, and can determine the probability of paternity to over 99% (such as 99.99+%) from just the father and the child, without the mother's sample. (The probability with the mother is higher, such as 99.99999+%, but for most people, over 99% is high enough.)
It may be better for your family if you are sure, so that you can give your wife or girlfriend your full support without worries.
Otherwise, you can save everybody even more stress and discord if you find out sooner than later that the child is not yours.
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